You are Either In or You are Out

I have had a hard day today and I am tired and emotional and probably insane at the moment.  But I have to get something down.  Do you have a friend that is at times completely draining of all of your energy?  Only has time to moan and groan their complaints about their own life, but rarely gives you a minute to dish about your own?  You love them dearly but you can't help but wonder why your friendship with them is so one sided?  I have a friend like that and today was a terrible day for me to have this friend.  She doesn't even know that I am upset.  She is, as usual, wrapped up in her own life, and doesn't have time to peek into mine.  This has been building and building for awhile, and today it hit its limit and today I almost broke down in tears at work.  

The thing is, I believe in our friendship and I want us to be friends for life.  She is someone that, at one time, I was able to confide in, laugh with, cry with, and share memories with.  Her life has changed and I feel like I have been left behind.  Only there when she needs me to be there, to reassure her and listen to her. Today, I have made a decision.  I will support her but I will no longer give all of my energy to her.  I will no longer be her shoulder to cry on when she needs one, she has new friends and I believe they have shoulders.  

I have probably not been the best of friends at some time during our friendship.  I know that I am not the perfect friend.   But I do know that the definition of friendship is not a description that would fit us well anymore. I cry as I type this but I know that this is best for me right now.